Title: April's Fool...?
Warning/Genre: depri, romance
Pairing: KoyaPi (one-sided), Koyashige (?)
Summary: Years ago Kato and the other members of NEWS made an April's Fool of Koyama by telling him, Yamashita would leave the group. Now he and Nishikido really leave NEWS and Koyama has a hard time when he realizes that it's not a joke this time and that the one he has fallen in love with for such a long time will leave him and the band for real...
Maybe the title let you think - that's a bit too late since it's not April 1st any longer? But don't worry, the story does not take place on April 1st, it only referes to an incident that happened on that date. My inspiration for this was this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inqZczF1a
Maybe the idea behind this fanfiction is not new but I had to think about this all the time since the announcement of Yamapi and Ryo leaving – what did Kei-chan, Shige, Massu and Tego feel when they heard about them wanting to leave NEWS? Expecially Koyama since the boys played such a mad trick on him years ago? I thought this was some kind of ironic and cruel... like a nightmare becoming true... Of course I decorated my fantasy about this scene with a bit „more“... so hopefully you like my story.
Disclaimer: Everything expect from the mentioned April's fool trick is fictional and I don't own any of the boys.
The day, Yamashita and Nishikido announced to their band mates, that they plan to leave NEWS, for Koyama there was a world crashing down. And this broke Kato's heart.
Kato knew Koyama's feelings towards Yamashita, he knew Koyama's feelings for such a long time. The young man told him about his feelings – only him. And so Kato was the only one who knew Koyama's real feelings when the boy congratulated Yamashita to his solo-career with a big smile, patted Nishikido's back and wished him good luck for his career with Kanjani8 and finally left the room hastily with the excuse of wanting to get a fresh bottle of water. Even Kato, Masuda and Tegoshi did not feel like celebrating at all. After Kato exchanged a few words of congratulations with Yamashita and Nishikido, he left too. He wanted to look for Koyama to make sure that he was OK.
He already expected not to find him at the vending machine and neither on the balcony for getting a bit of fresh air. So he tried to find him at the men's room.
„Kei-chan? Are you here?“, he asked after pushing the door to the washroom open. He listened.
„Kei?“, he repeated but no-one answered. The cabins where all empty – all expect from one. Kato bowed and recognized Koyama's shoes. He took a few steps towards the last cabin and quietly knocked on it's door.
„Kei-chan? Are you OK?“, he asked in a whispering voice and leaned against the cabin's door, „Come on out...“
It took a short while but then Koyama unlocked the door and it swung up. Koyama obviously avoided looking at Kato directly when he left the cabin and went towards the washbowl for cleaning his hands. At this he took the chance and washed his face too. As he shot a short glimpse into the mirror, Kato noticed Koyama's red shot eyes. Kato sighed. As he already had frightened – Koyama had cried. Kato stepped towards his band mate and slightly touched his shoulder to make him turning around. Koyama's eyes focused on the floor again as if he tried to avoid showing Kato his face with crying marks.
„Come on...“, Kato whispered and gave Koyama a hug. He felt Koyama's body giving in at this moment. The taller one buried his face at Kato's shoulder and grabbed his fingers into the back of his buddy. There was a desperate sobbing and a few tears sucked into the fabric of Kato's shirt. The young man lifted his hand and ran it over Koyama's head. „It's OK...“, he whispered into Koyama's ear.
Kato sighed again. He felt pity for Koyama. The young man was just really sentimental. He couldn't cope well when a member of NEWS left the group. And this time there was the fact that Yamashita meant so much to Koyama too. Even if the young man hid his feelings – especially from Yamashita.
„Shige...“, Koyama murmured as his sobbing decreased, „This time it's no joke, right? It's real...“
Kato bit on his lower lip and nodded. A further heartbreaking sobbing followed and Koyama nearly seemed to break down in Kato's arms. Yes, this time it wasn't a joke, Kato thought and it felt like someone stabbed in his heart. He could remember the time when he frightened his friend nearly to death a few years ago very well. He and the other members of NEWS made an April's Fool out of Koyama and sent him a text message which read that Yamashita would leave the group. Already this time Koyama was really shocked and crushed about this news, so that Kato regretted really soon that he had played such a bad trick on Koyama. Especially because he had been the one who sent the text message and even worse – he had been the one with this silly idea.
Back then Kato didn't know about Koyama's feelings towards Yamashita. And he totally had counted on Koyama for getting the clue about the April's Fool joke. But after sending a few more text messages the young man seemed to not realize. In the end Kato couldn't stand it any longer so he gave Koyama a call to tell him the truth. It nearly broke his heart as he heard how relieved Koyama was about realizing that the other boys just were just playing a trick on him. Since then Kato swore to never ever make a fool out of Koyama.
A short time after that incident Koyama told Kato about his crush on Yamashita. But the young man did not have to tell his best friend. Since the other had spent the last months with caring about Koyama even more (and finally falling in love with him), he was already aware of Koyama's interest towards their band mate. For his sorrow. But it was OK for him as long as he could see Koyama's heart lightning smile even if it was not meant to be his but Yamashita's.
„Kei-chan... you want to go back to the others? They plan on going out for dinner and... celebrating a little... hey, at least you're NEWS's new leader now!“, Kato tried to cheer up his buddy. But as expected, Koyama did not feel like going out with the others. Koyama's head shaking proofed his guess.
„Leader... me...“, Koyama forced himself to a short laughter. Kato signed as he realized the ironic tone in Koyama's voice. „THAT must be the joke...“
Kato grabbed Koyama's shoulders and he pushed the body of the young man out of the hug. The young man looked quite surprised – his eyes red and swollen. Kato gave him a mad look.
„You immediately stop talking such crap...“, he began and shook Koyama's shoulders slightly, „You really should be more self confident... you will be a great leader and NEWS will be much better and more interesting than ever! We don't need Ryo or Yamapi for being a good band, OK?“, Kato knew Koyama's thoughts. He had known them a few years ago and he knew them now. Koyama was totally not self confident. He was unsure and played this over with jokes and sarcasm. But Kato was able to look through this stuff every time. He saw it in Koyama's eyes and he heard it in his voice.
„Oh Shige...“, Koyama seemed really unsure about what to reply onto the words of his buddy. He bit on his lips and continued studying the floor's pattern.
„I know this must be quite a shock for you... and there will be chances for sure... maybe it will be hard at the beginning but I'm sure our fans will not stop supporting us. Trust me!“, Kato continued. He was pretty sure that the situation would be like this. Of course he was a little afraid about the future of NEWS too but he didn't want to see Koyama crushed down like this.
After Kato loosened his grip of Koyama's shoulders, he lifted one hand to his face and lifted his band mate's chin softly so that Koyama was forced to look at Kato directly.
„We can do this together, right?“, Kato looked deeply into Koyama's sad eyes. The taller one tried to smile at his friend but he really messed up.
„Shige... I'd like to go home now... I have to... I don't want to stay here...“, he finally said and stroke through his hair nervously.
„OK... I'll give you a ride home“, Kato replied. He smiled at Koyama who nodded thankfully.
During the drive both of them did not talk a single word. Kato was the driver and concentrated onto the traffic while Koyama looked out of the window and was totally lost in his thoughts. He really had to fight in his mind and had to struggle with the day's incidents to cope with them. Nishikido and Yamashita would leave the band...
Was that really something to wonder about? Nishikido was stressed more and more the last time. He had to cope with the double amount of group activities and then there were his acting jobs too... It was completely foreseeable that he would have to choose between NEWS and Kanjani8 one day. But nevertheless it was quite a big shock to Koyama that Nishikido really chose Kanjani8 over NEWS. He could understand his decision but he also was some kind of hurt and blamed himself for being not good enough with NEWS. Otherwise Nishikido would have chosen the other band and would have stayed.
And Yamashita... in his case it was understandable too that he wanted to concentrate on his solo-career since he was really popular this time. Maybe Koyama would have made the same decision if he was in Yamashita's space. But nevertheless Koyama couldn't stop thinking of having totally lost with NEWS. He and the other members must have been not good enough to keep the young man wanting to continue their career together. Since Yamashita left the group out of his own will, not like for example Uchi years ago, who had no choice, Koyama felt kinda betrayed by Yamashita. Yamashita had the choice and chose a career on his own's sake. Koyama sighed. He wished the situation would be different.
He really did not want to loose Yamashita. Not only because he was afraid that NEWS would not be that popular any longer without the young man, but even because it was a really frightening idea to him being not able to see Yamashita that often in the future. At least he had fallen in love with his band mate years ago... even if he only watched and loved him from the side rows and even if Kato was the only one who knew Koyama's secret. But because of all the jobs the band mates met nearly every day and now Yamashita would not be part of this any longer? He would never join dance practices when the boys have to learn a new chromatography for their concerts, he would never join photo shootings and recording session in the studio. This picture of the future made Koyama unbelievable sad...
Suddenly Kato's cellphone rang and the driver picked up immediately.
„Yes? Oh, Tego, it's you... no, we are not joining... Kei-chan is not feeling well so I give him a ride home... yeeeah I know I don't have to pick up the phone while driving... so... maybe I'll join you later on... OK, so long... greetings to the others! Bye...“ the phone call was finished. Koyama turned his head and looked at Kato with a curious face.
„The guys are up for celebrations... they wondered where we are...“, Kato explained. Koyama continued looking out of the window.
It did not last long until they arrived at Koyama's apartment. Kato parked the car to let Koyama exit. But Koyama did not seem to have a hurry. Instead he buried his face in his hands with a sigh. Kato bent forward towards Koyama and put his hand on his band mate’s shoulder.
Koyama took a deep breath and put the hands of his face. He gave Kato a desperate look.
„I... could do some cooking for us... aren't you hungry too?“, he finally asked.
Kato smiled. Koyama did not want to be alone and Kato could really understand why. He even had the idea of offering his buddy to stay for a while. It would not have been good for Koyama if he had been all alone this whole evening. All alone with all his negative thoughts locked into his room... And as both of them were not going for celebrating and eating with the others, they really would get hungry soon.
„Yeah, that's a good idea“, Kato replied, „Could you make your popular Pasta with tomato sauce?“
Koyama gave a short laughter. „OK, if you really want this...“
The young men left the car and went up the stairs of the apartment complex. Koyama unlocked the door and pressed the light switch. After he and his guest got rid of their shoes and jackets, he headed into the kitchen directly and immediately started searching for the right cooking pots and pans.
„Feel like home, you can sit on the couch or something, Shige... ah would you like to drink something?“, Kato heard the voice of his friend out of the kitchen.
„Ehm... no thank you, I don't need anything.“, the questioned one replied.
Kato looked around the living room. It had been a few week since his last visit at Koyama's place but everything was in it's right place like always. On the couch there was a comfortable blanket into which Koyama used to enwrap himself for watching TV-series and falling asleep while watching. On the glass coffee table there were a few mangas spread over the actual TV-magazine and like everywhere else in the apartment the shelves and walls were filled with framed photographs. Photographs of Koyama's family but also a huge amount of pictures of Koyama and his friend – most of them with members of NEWS. Nobody could ignore, how much the band meant for Koyama. For him NEWS wasn't only a job. It was his life. Kato and the others meant it like this too but Koyama was even more intense. He was so passionate about the band and about the friendship of the members. Kato felt really pity for Koyama. The young man decided to help Koyama overcoming his shock and making him clear that even without Nishikido and Yamashita they would be popular and of course he wanted Koyama to realize that he wasn't just good for nothing like he thought.
Koyama was unbelievable. He was sensible, a good friend and funny. He had talent and charisma. Not only Kato was aware of this. And though he had only such few self confidence. Maybe because of his unrequited love towards Yamashita? Kato sighed. He caught himself at looking at a picture of Koyama and Yamashita which had been taken at Koyama's last birthday party. Koyama smiled over his face. Kato loved this cute smile... but there were some other feelings in his chest – jealousy. And anger. Anger towards Yamashita. Anger because Yamashita left the group and made Koyama this sad. Anger towards himself for knowing so well how it felt to think being not good enough for something. Or someone. At least he was not good enough for Koyama as well.
„Aaah... SHIT!“, there was Koyama's voice from the kitchen, a loud sound of crashing cooking pots followed.
„Kei-chan! Are you all right?!“, Kato jumped up and rushed to his buddy. Koyama was holding his hand with a painful face. He seemed to have burned his hand while trying to hold one of the cooking pots, which finally fell to the floor and wide spread all of the ready cooked noodles. Kato reacted very fast and grabbed Koyama at his elbow to guide him to the washbowl. Then he turned on the cold water to hold Koyama's hurt hand under the yet of water.
„What are you doing again, Baka?!“, Kato scolded his band mate. The questioned one bit on his lips and seemed to fight his tears. The burn did not look that serious but it must hurt like hell...
"I know... I'm an idiot... I'm sorry for ruining our dinner“, Koyama murmured. Finally a few tears dropped down his eyes and ran over his cheeks. „I'm no good... I'm even not good enough for cooking...“
Kato had to struggle to hold himself together to not shout at Koyama this minute that he had to stop putting himself down immediately. But instead he ran into the bathing room where he found the first aid kit in the closets. Everyone knew where the first aid bandages were since Koyama often was an air head and it happened from time to time that he hurt himself a little by not paying attention towards the world surrounding him. Kato searched for a gauze bandage and the ointment and returned to Koyama into the kitchen where the young man was still holding his hand under the cooling jet of water. Kato took Koyama's hand, dried it with a lot of care with a paper tissue and started to lube his burned hand gently. As he finished to vet Koyama's hand, the boy smiled at him thankfully.
Then Kato cut another topic that burned his soul, „Tell me, Kei-chan... what do you wanna do now?“
Koyama bent down to pick up the cooking pot and the spoiled noodles and cleaned up his mess. He filled the cooking pot with fresh water and placed it onto the hotplate again. „I have to cook new Pasta, what else?“
Kato run his hand through his hair and laughed. It wasn't easy to ask Koyama what he wanted to ask and his nervous heart was beating faster and faster, „Not that, you idiot... I mean... because of Yamapi... if he leaves the group now... don't you want to tell him at least now about your feelings?“
The addressed one stopped in the middle of his movement as he wanted to put a new bundle of spaghetti into the cooking water. He laughed and turned around to Kato looking at him with sad eyes. „No... what would that help for? I know that I don't have a chance... at least he is totally not into guys... He does not have to know about this. I just have to... overcome this feelings for him.... I just don't know how...“
Koyama put the spaghetti into the hot water and concentrated on tasting the tomato sauce which was cooking in a pan on the hotplate next to the cooking pot. He reached for the salt and added some.
Finally Kato couldn't stand it any longer. His nervousness rose more and more. He touched Koyama's unharmed hand, took it into his own and pressed it gently. „I want to help you with that...“, he murmured.
„What?“, Koyama turned around to Kato surprised as he felt the slight pressure at his hand and looked at him wondering until Kato pulled Koyama closer toward him and placed his other hand onto Koyama's cheek.
With a piercing look Kato looked into Koyama's eyes. He caressed his cheek then he ran his hand to Koyama's neck. Even before Koyama knew what happened, Kato had surpassed the left space between them totally. He pulled Koyama towards him gently and placed his lips onto the taller one's. Kato's heart was beating like crazy and he felt fear, Koyama could push him away or shout at him but he knew that he would had gone insane if he didn't do this now.
Koyama was too shocked for reacting anyways. Kato let go of the kiss and looked at this friend. He smiled. „I love you, Kei-chan...“, he whispered.
„Shige...“, finally Koyama seemed to have found his speech again, „What? You... but... I...“, he stuttered.
„Shhh... I know“, Kato laid his finger against Koyama's lips and came towards his face again. „I know that you love Yamapi... but please... I'm serious... let me help you to forget him...“, and he kissed his band mate again.
This time Koyama was prepared. And even if his heart ran riots and even if he was totally not sure if he was doing the right thing, he let the kiss be. Kato's lips felt unbelievable soft and his kiss was so full of love and passion so that Koyama's knees nearly gave in. Kato buried his hands into Koyama's hair, pulled the boy closer to him and deepened the kiss. Now at the latest Koyama totally devoted to this kiss. It felt so good... he felt treasured, loved... a feeling that he did not feel for quite a long time. Shige loved him... why did he never notice? Was it because his feelings were focused onto Yamashita that he did not notice his best friend's feelings at all?
Suddenly Koyama felt a heavy guilty conscience. He let go of Kato's lips who protested and looked at him curiously. Koyama let rest his hands around Kato's hips. How could he take advantage of Kato's love in this way? Only because of his unlucky love? That was unfair... he did not want to hurt Kato.
„Listen... are you sure about this? I don't want to use you, Shige“, Koyama said and looked to the floor with a guilty look. Kato laughed. That was so typical. He embraced Koyama's face with his hands and forced him to look right into his eyes.
„I really know what I'm doing, silly... I don't ask you to fall in love with me... I just want to comfort you, you know? I can't stand seeing you that sad, it breaks my heart... so let me do, OK? You don't have to do anything you don't wanna but please... forget your sorrow. Just for today.“, Kato smiled at Koyama with love in his eyes and he kissed his cheeks and his lips gently. Then he gave him a questioned look.
„Shige... you are so nice to me... I don't deserve this...“, Koyama whispered.
„Stop talking such crap... Kei-chan, you're such a wonderful person. You have deserved the whole world's luck so please let me be just a small part of it“, they kissed again.
After a few minutes Koyama left Kato's lips again. His cheeks where red and his eyes shined. Kato looked deep into Koyama's eyes.
„Ehm... I think, dinner's ready“, Koyama said and smirked toward Kato. The young man replied with his own smile and let go off Koyama.
„So then serve your delicious Pasta, chef“, he joked. He turned around and took two plates out of Koyama's kitchen closet, grabbed two gables and spoons out of the drawer and went into the dining room, „And put on oven gloves this time before you grab the noodles!“
Koyama felt caught and did how Kato ordered. He clipped two table mats under his arm and left the kitchen, the cooking pot with the noodles in one, the pan with the tomato sauce in the other hand after switching off the temperature of the hotplate. While Kato was arranging the pasta onto the plates, Koyama went back into the kitchen for getting a package of Parmesan and put out a bottle of good wine. He showed it to Kato and gave him a cute smile.
„You don't have to drive tonight, do you?“, he asked and poured some wine into his wine glass.
„No... not if you don't put me out on the street“, Kato replied with a grin.
Both of them really enjoyed the dinner. Kato complimented Koyama's cooking skills and they talked about everything that came to their minds while they killed the wine bottle. Later on they moved towards Koyama's couch, watched TV-Shows for a few hours and flipped threw some of Koyama's mangas laughing. And when the talking topics got fewer and they came closer to each other it did not last long until they were lost again in deep kisses...
Of course Koyama did not put Kato out on the street that night. And the first bottle of wine was not the last one they killed. And even if Koyama had not considered it possible he managed to forget Yamashita and his sorrow at least for a short time. And maybe with Kato's help and Kato's love he would be able to overcome his unlucky love sooner as he had thought...